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horseliberator) wrote2025-10-02 09:15 pm
IC Inbox (Golden Peacock)
▶ AUDIO
▶ VIDEO
▶ ACTION
20ish / m / bisexual / 6♤
Details
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either
.02 CLOWNS OR MIMES
what is this
.03 SHOWER OR BATH
bath
.04 PIRATES OR NINJAS
what is a ninja
.05 TITS OR ASS
both
.06 COFFEE OR TEA
what is this
.07 SPICY OR SWEET
spicy
.08 SUMMER OR WINTER
summer
.09 LEATHER OR LACE
leather
10. ROUGH SEX OR GENTLE SEX
either
ENFJ-A - The Protagonist
no subject
You want someone else. And I'm... not supposed to get attached like this. So it is stupid.
[But that is an admission, in and of itself. So the game is up.
Hesitantly, Dodger reaches a hand up to run his fingers over the back of Henry's hand. He shifts so they can fully face each other, because he needs to watch Henry's face while he talks.]
The potion... exaggerates things that are already there, I think. The same way my suit does, when it flares. And it's... [he takes a deep breath, that comes out very shaky.] ...I want you. I want to belong to you. And I wanted it a little then, and it keeps... getting bigger, and feeling stupider, because I already knew you were pining after Hans, and it's- I just thought maybe with... the dog tag... I don't know, it's-
[Stupid. That's the only word he can really think to use.]
no subject
But it's no small thing that he's offered to show up to a magic fight with a sword for Dodger, either. He thinks that's important. Hence his overall confusion. It's not even that the notion of loving more than one person is unspeakable to him — his mother did, after all. But for him, all of this is "wrong" in the eyes of God either way. So he contends with the constant feeling of being condemned to an eternity of torture.
He could tell Dodger he doesn't need to talk about it or explain it if he doesn't want to. After all, he already passed on the question before. But it also feels like shutting it down wouldn't be the right move either, since Dodger seems to want to talk about it now.
He also manages not to look completely surprised that Dodger could already tell he wanted Hans. Wh- ] You did? [ he swallows thickly. ] But I — that's.
...
I didn't make that present for you for no reason at all. I do care about you. Very much so.
no subject
[That's all he really needs to say about that. Maybe it isn't obvious to everyone, but Dodger knows what it's like to pine after someone, especially someone you're indebted to. It's exactly why he's always been so quick to pick at things with Hans, undermine him, dismiss him. Why he's not sure how he'd even react if he finally met the man.
But his attention also gets pulled away immediately. Because the dog tag... meant something. Of course it did. And Dodger's skin has started to heat up, his heart is beating a little too fast.]
It's the best present I've ever gotten. [He ventures carefully.] And I thought maybe... it meant you wanted me, too.
[Caring isn't the same thing as wanting, even if the word love feels far too loaded. He cares about his brother, he cares about (some of) his friends, he cared about his boss until relatively recently.]
It's fine if we're just... friends. [It isn't.] I just... I really want to be with you. I care about you, and you're important to me, and I... like how I feel around you. You make me feel like I'm worth something.
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Part of him knew that Dodger needles him about Hans because of ... feelings. But another part of him was that part that was being deliberately obtuse about all of it. Because he does love Hans. That's his best friend, he'd protect him with his life. He just really doesn't know what to do with Dodger having worked his way into the picture. ]
I don't just fuck all of my friends.
[ Okay so he does fuck some of them, especially here. But there's still a difference than what he has with them and whatever this is with Dodger. He's not that dumb not to see that. ]
And you are worth something, Dodger. I've already told you that.
[ He's worth something to Henry, and he's worth something in general. It's just that Henry doesn't think that Dodger sees that, or is willing to see that without a hard push in the right direction. ]
I think I want both of you. And I don't really understand that, or know if I want to.
[ But even the thought of Dodger lessening his worth to Henry or saying his thoughts and feelings are stupid actually makes him feel really upset. ]
no subject
Then I'm yours. As long as you want me.
[It's followed by a few more kisses, mostly to his lips, a few to his cheeks. It's more than he'd hoped for, honestly - not just borrowing time from Hans, but a possibility of still having Henry even if the lord shows up. It settles something that's been restless in his chest for a while, without being properly examined.]
If- when, Hans shows up, we'll figure that out. But until then, you've got me, and I'm not leaving.
no subject
Does he have any idea what he's doing right now? No. But sometimes that's how Henry deals with things best. For now, he also tries to ignore the sharp feeling of hopelessness that Hans could ever show up here in his chest. He wants it so badly, mind you, it just feels like God has to be able to punish him somehow.
It's fine for now. He feels lighter at the moment, and there is going to be time to figure his feelings out and what to do about it if Hans ever does actually appear.
Once Dodger's attack of kisses is over, he leans in to claim his own. It's a single kiss, long and slow, but he pulls back just enough to speak, with a little lopsided smile on his face. ]
And if I earn my dog back, are you going to be jealous of him?
[ Teasing. But also it's his turn, that's his question. ]
no subject
I'll just have to get my dog back, too, so he'll have someone to keep him busy. Then they can both say out of my way.
[Dodger will, most likely, get jealous of Mutt taking Henry's attention away. But he thinks he'd be able to handle it, just like he thinks he'd be able to control the urge to kick Crusher in front of Henry. Time will tell if either of those things work out for him.]
Do you want me to tell people we're together? Or... keep it discreet?
[He isn't sure what he wants himself. He's been perfectly happy calling Henry a friend, to everyone else, although he doesn't think he's fooling anyone. It just seems dangerous to be open about such a close attachment.]
no subject
He laughs, ducking his face out of the way of that pinch. ]
Fine by me. Mutt would love a friend.
[ He would also try to follow Henry everywhere. So there is that.
As for the next question, he pauses a moment, letting his hand smooth upward and into Dodger's hair a bit. If Dodger's ... acquaintances really are as dangerous as he says, he doesn't want to be a liability or something they can exploit. Even though he hates that thought and it makes him feel like a helpless maiden. ]
Probably best to keep it quiet, don't you think? I won't be used against you, I refuse.
no subject
Yeah. I mean I think... I think Rin already figured it out. But I'd rather not shout it from the rooftops.
[He does want to tell a few people. Viktor and Jayce, more than anyone. Unfortunately, his best friend Chobe is probably the last person he'd tell, just because Chobe is actually dangerous. And even if Toma was just having a suit flare when he flipped out about Chobe and Esikko being an item, Dodger can't entirely shake the idea that the information would make its way to the prince.]
Those fire-proofing potions would probably help you fight Bloemrose's boyfriend, Dabi. So there's that. If I figure out something that would help you against the other people I'm worried about, I'll let you know.
no subject
Right. That's probably for the best.
[ Not to mention, announcing it in Henry's time is basically telling everyone you're going to get hitched. At least when it's a man and a woman. So it feels a bit strange to him, especially when he is struggling with strong feelings for two separate people.
The next part gets his attention, though. ]
Oh? You might have mentioned that earlier. [ and Henry would have gone marching right off into battle immediately.... ] That's good, though. Maybe I can help you after all.
no subject
[Dodger sneaks another kiss to Henry's cheek, just because he can, before he goes searching through his Watch. And after a bit of rooting, he finds a picture of Dabi to show him. Like with a lot of Dodger's photos, it looks like Dabi didn't know he was around when it was taken.]
This is him - easy to recognize, with all the stitches. He's a firestarter like me. But my best friend's had trouble fighting him off, and I can just barely keep up with Chobe, so don't go after him without a good reason. Or I'll kick your ass.
no subject
I think I have plenty good reason. But I won't.
no subject
If he steps to me, I'll call you. Until then, I don't want either of us getting dragged back into Esikko's shit, alright? Chobe and his brother called a truce with them so they wouldn't keep getting hurt and those two are immortal.
[Or close enough. He knows how to kill them (Chobe at least) but he certainly isn't going to tell anyone, even Henry.
Dodger takes another drink of his liquor, before setting the bottle aside.]
...I feel a lot better, actually. Like... a weight's been lifted. But we can keep playing if you want.
no subject
Unfortunately it is also very fucked up that they can just use some kind of sorcery to toss Henry aside like rubbish. ]
Alright. I won't do anything. And I won't give them more reasons to do anything to you, either.
[ That's more important than bringing his sword to a magic show. So with a small sigh, he settles again, sneaking an arm around Dodger. ]
Only if you want to. Once I'm drunk though don't expect anything coherent probably.
no subject
I've got another bottle to go before I get drunk, I think.
[But he's not feeling the overwhelming urge to escape his mind, like he was before. He actually wants to savor the moment.]
It's your turn.
no subject
My turn? Huh.
[ Well they answered some pretty big questions. He thinks for a moment. ]
What's your favorite food? Have I tried it yet?
no subject
Pork lo mein, or... Singapore noodles. I don't think I've shown you them, at least.
[It's hard to have very strong opinions about food when he can't really taste them. But he likes the texture of Chinese food, and the way it smells.]
That scar on your back - what's it from?
[It hasn't escaped his notice that for as rough-and-tumble as Henry is, he doesn't have that many major scars. So there must be stories behind the ones that are there, just like the single bullet-scar Dodger's got above his hip.]
no subject
[ But he files the information away so he can try it. "lo mein" and "Singapore" both mean nothing to him at this moment. ]
Bit of a long story, that. But we were on a diplomatic mission. While Hans and I were bathing in the river, our camp was attacked. No one survived. [ his expression hardens a bit, he still mourns those lads... ]
Then the bastards that did it started trying to go after some women that were nearby. We were in nothing but our braies and I can't swim, Hans tried to stop me, but ... I grabbed their attention and ... we ran. Got an arrow to the back for my trouble, and that was the least of my problems that night.
no subject
You're a real hero.
[Something that Dodger has started actually appreciating in others, after years of looking down on selfless people. If they'd met sooner, if Dodger heard this story earlier, he might have called Henry an idiot for risking his life over strangers.]
...Dangerous, though, not knowing how to swim. I bet the university's got classes for that.
[Dodger has his own issues - he can swim, but his memory-bleeds get worse around large bodies of water. So he tries to avoid them anyway, and he probably wouldn't be a good teacher.]
no subject
Well, see where it got me. It was the right thing to do, though.
[ Hans had already given him more than earful about how idiotic that was. He shakes his head. ]
I avoid deep bodies of water whenever I can. "Swimming" naked with an arrow stuck out of my shoulder was quite enough for me.
[ There is definitely some residual trauma from the incident. ]
Is there anything you miss about, what was it- Boston?
no subject
Nothing worth leaving here for.
[He hesitates.]
I didn't talk to people much. I had food delivered to my apartment, and I didn't leave the house much except to work. People saw my scars, or my powers, and... it scared them off. And the people I worked with- I didn't want to give them anything to judge me on. So... I didn't have friends, I didn't have hobbies, I didn't have a real life. I was Augustine's dog, and that's all I was. I went where he said, did what he said, hurt or killed whoever he told me to, and then went home and slept long enough to handle doing it again. Or to patch up the bruises if Augustine decided I wasn't doing a good enough job.
no subject
[ Henry listens, eventually giving a nod, though he pulls Dodger in (or rather it's more like it pulls himself to Dodger) to kiss him against the temple. ]
I'm sorry to hear it. But then, I'm glad...you've gotten away from all that.
[ It sounds awful, and that's even before all the stigma of having powers, which Henry can't really comprehend anyway. He also thinks maybe he should think of better questions. Asking Dodger things about his home always gets sad. ]
no subject
I got away, I don't have to answer to anyone here, I've got real friends. I've got you. And I don't have to worry about getting arrested for lighting a cigarette off my fingers.
[Maybe it's not quite that serious. But police officers can be trigger-happy, and Dodger doesn't exactly scream trustworthiness. He tries his best to just stay where authority figures are not.]
...Have you ever killed someone before? I mean- someone who didn't earn it?
no subject
Least of your worries here, probably.
[ Then his gaze drops a moment, as though he's pondering taking a drink. He's definitely killed people that deserved it, but those that didn't? ]
Sure. I've killed someone just for fighting under a different banner. They'd kill me for the same reason. Other than that, I think everyone I've killed .... I could justify it in some way. As ... as something they deserved. Or maybe a mercy.
no subject
Same for me. For... most of them. They deserved it, they would have killed me, or- it was a mercy.
[He chews his cheek briefly.]
I've only killed one person I wanted to take back. I mean there's... people that needed to die, but I didn't like killing them. But... one person I shouldn't have killed. It sticks with you a lot more, I think, when you can't tell yourself a good story about it.
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